To Maggie Love Dad.
I thought I knew,
What joy looked like,
What a perfection collection of humanity was,
But,
It turns out,
I had no fucking inkling,
Until you slowly then suddenly existed,
And was a red, screaming, alive you.
I have to know that I've done a lot,
And pretty well it seems,
As you babies grow into tots,
And now not just a family I've made but I've got.
When you were small,
Of course I imagined a not too far world where you were tall,
But no one cautioned me it would be this way,
That one random day,
You would all flew and fire away,
And leave me to wander, and wonder,
Is this life reaping me sunder,
Or is this one actually not on me,
For I may have raised you and birthed you,
But YOU chose to be.
I wonder if she knows,
Or even thinks about at all,
All the hours I've lain awake,
Planning your funeral in my brain,
Imagining all the drugs you take,
And still she lies into my eyes,
Spits on my love,
Stomps on my heart,
Doesn't she know the soul we share?
I was pretty sure my Maggie did,
But what if it was never there,
And as she grew she somehow dissolved into the atmosphere.
And I birthed and bred a masterpiece,
They could not see it,
But could surely feel it from my love,
For it would be impossible to have this love for a monster,
Even if you're not yet a son but not yet a daughter,
But an odd different one,
We don't have words for yet.
Surely they know I have only ever wanted nothing but the best,
Any pain I would want to chest,
And fix,
But this life never works that way,
And I was helpless to watch my souls mind break away,
And be left to just cross all my hands,
That you come back to me one day.
